Lady and the Man

First Written    Fri Mar 13 07:57:47 2020
File Modified    Wed Feb 14 18:32:26 2024
Latest Upload    Thu Sep 19 03:09:54 2024

"Stop it, Manfred. Stop lying,"

"What did I say now, Ladiella" he asked, hovering over her and catching his breath, "All I said was it's okay."

"It's not okay," Ladiella replied, shoving her face into his neck to hide the lack of dryness in her eyes, "We can't keep pretending this is right."

"Why the fuck can't we? Let's play make believe until we forget it all. Until we forget all the rules and all the reasons we can't be."

Manfred was gripping a fistful of bedsheets with the same fervor as he gripped his own teeth with a clenched jaw.

"Why the fuck not, Ella?"

She bit him on the lip. He forced her halfway into a kiss, and she arched her back to close the distance.

"Do I have to spell it out for you again, Manfred? I feel like Helen Keller's English teacher, but with less dignity and more patience."

"Humour me, Ella. You know I lose 10 points of IQ whenever I'm with you."

She ran her hand down the side of his face. His stubble was slick with what was either his sweat or her saliva. Whatever the case, it was her doing.

"Thanks, I think," she uttered, "You are a man. I am a woman. We are different."

"Too different?"

"Yes, that was implied. Are all men this dense?"

"No," he said, pressing his ribcage against hers, "I like to think my density is above average."

Ladiella sighed, "Just another of the myriad signs the universe has erected to tell us how stupid we are to think this could have worked. Your body fat percentage is a fraction of mine. I'm buoyant, Manfred. You sink if you don't hold your breath."

"You mean you're beautiful, and I sink when you're not here to take my breath away."

"Just stop it. You should be with your people. I should go back to mine. You know the first rule of science, don't you Manfred? What, with all the reverence men have for STEM?"

"Leave enrollment rates out of this, Ella," Manfred spat, "I know the first rule. Opposites repel."

"Opposites repel," she reiterated, her legs running down the sides of the idiot lying on top of her, "Your legs are hairier than mine. Your voice is deeper. You even eat more than I do. How could we have been so stupid, to think this could have worked?"

"It would have been stupider not to try."

"I'm done trying, Manfred. I'm done perverting the universe with our attempts to delude ourselves into thinking reality is just some hunk of plastic we can bend. It's fucking steel. And every time I try to bend my way to you I hurt my hands."

Manfred rested his head on her chest, "I didn't know being with me hurt you. I'd bend the steel. My palms have more collagen."

"No, that's not," she pulled at his hair, wanting to rip his head off for being so difficult before comforting her hand against his scalp, "That's not what I meant Manfred. Answer me honestly - would you tell your father about us?"

"That's not a fair question."

"I wouldn't tell my mother. I can't. And so every time I look at her I'm lying. You don't think that hurts, Manfred?"

Manfred pushed himself off of her. He stood up abruptly.

"So leave, then. Leave if you care about what the world thinks of you. That's what women want, isn't it? All that emotional intelligence and you can't separate your own feelings from your mother's and sisters'."

She grabbed the side of his abdomen, her head too downcast to meet his gaze.

"Your body is hard, Manfred. It's not soft like mine. You have more hair on your body than on your head. You like me. But you're not like me."

"I don't like you, Ladiella. I love you."

"I love you too Manfred. That's why I have to leave. So you and I can heal, and we can just be one another's memories."

"I don't want to be your memory. I want to be yours."

"Action-oriented speech," Ladiella looked up at him, her eyes welling up with the thought of never hearing another straight-spoken platitude from his lips again, "You're so foreign, Manfred."

"You're so cold Ladiella. And I'm not talking about the lower average body temperature of your extremities."

Staring at his crotch, she burst into tears, "Can you even menstruate, Manfred? It has the word 'men' in it. Can you bleed the way you cut me every time I think of the future we can't have?"

She wiped her tears on his sternum as she wrapped him in a last embrace, "My forehead can't even reach your chin. I need to tiptoe to kiss you. How can that be right, Manfred?"

He stood silently, breathing in the smell of her hair. He thought she smelled like conditioner, or at least what he thought conditioner would smell like.

"Did you know I'm colorblind?"

"It was always probable. Colour vision is an x-linked gene."

"When I first met you, I thought I learned what rainbows were. A brilliant, rich reminder that dark times had passed and calmer times were coming."

"What do you think rainbows are now?"

"Illusions."

She put on her coat and reached for the door. Instinctively, he held it open for her.

"I hope you find your rainbow, Manfred. You're very good at spatial reasoning."

"I'll try, Ladiella. But I think rainbows can't exist without light."

The final click of a doorknob echoed through his empty mancave. He knew she wouldn't return - because he would have. And they were different.