Taxes & Taxonomy (Sample 1)

First Written    Tue Sep 14 02:20:51 2021
File Modified    Wed Feb 14 18:32:26 2024
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"Noted," noted the Republic notary public, "Your application for a formal business union has been approved with the requested revisement period of seven twenty-four hour days, beginning in this time zone, at the current moment."

"Takesies-backsies," Dea said.

"Yes, colloquially known as the takesies-backsies clause, your requested revisement period will allow you to takesies-backsies any and all joint fiscal dealings and re-file them as though un-entangled business persons."

"And what of time dilation," Juan asked, his thick rimmed reading glasses angled towards a stack of prepared notes, on which his finger sat under the underlined heading, effects of undue mass or energy.

"Excuse me." The notary public prodded back, his own reading glasses balanced precariously on his nose's edge but spared the risk of falling by the fact that his neck did not move while he spoke. "Time dilation?"

"Well, I'd assume some recompense if my business dealings were affected by a misunderstanding due to a difference in inertial reference frames between the parties in question."

"Our business dealings." Dea fake coughed, initiating the leading edge of a real cough but halting ever so slightly at the precipice of one and swallowing the remains.

"Ah, time dilation," the notary public responded, "I thought you said time until late sun. Time dilation will favour your personal inertial reference frame, with the caveat assumption that your consciousness experiences time from any one such frame. Should local spacetime be so fragmented that your brain is wrought between multiple disparate observations of reality, well, I must remind you of the words, 'till death do us part. Any further questions, Mr. Natividad, Ms. Du?"

"And what of time until late sun?" Juan pressed him in the same manner, his finger shifting to another heading, effects of the Earth's axial tilt.

"No, no more questions," Dea insisted, pushing Juan's finger to the smiley-face circled end of a flowchart on his page. "Actually, just one. How will we forward you our answer in seven days if you won't be back for ten?"

The notary public rotated his head to meet each party's eyes, answering their questions in turn, "The early arctic sunset has no bearing on twenty-four hour days, Mr. Natividad. And I apologize, Ms. Du. I haven't considered that. I suppose we can just meet when I get back. Will that do?"

"Yes," the two answered in unison.

"Then I now pronounce you man and woman, fiscally bound and legal proprietors of the firm, Taxes and Taxonomy. You may pass the papers. To me, please."